Blog #15 - coming back from a loss

How do you come back from a hard loss? In lacrosse, such as with any other sport, you win big or win small, lose big or lose small. So how do you come back from a loss big or small and come back the next day with the win mentality? A great article titled, An Athlete’s Guide to Dealing with a Tough Loss, gives five great tips to come back from a loss. “1. A right to be disappointed: You’ve earned the right to be disappointed. Let’s face it, after putting it all on the line, competing with all your heart, it is prac- tically impossible to put on a smiling face and just forget things after a close loss. Give yourself some time. It’s OK to be disappointed. In fact, it’s even expected. Why wouldn’t you? You care, you practiced, you’re a warrior, and you fought like one! Disappointment is a natural emotion, it even hurts, and that’s ok too. It’s not something that needs to be fixed. It is time that usually heals it. Disappointment can be equated to mourning a loss. Allow yourself the time to decompress, feel your feelings, and settle down. Paradoxically, by allowing yourself the disappointment you also allow yourself the opportunity to release and resolve the painful feelings. One of the things that makes victory so sweet, and motivates us so, is knowing the feeling and experience of disappointment. 2. One step closer: Believe it or not, you are actually one step closer to your goals! The great Babe Ruth used to say every time he struck out, “I’m one step closer to hitting a home run!” Babe would learn from being up at bat, and change his strategies every time he stepped up to the plate. You can do the same. It took Rafael Nadal two years to gain the number one ranking. Each time he lost during this period he won- dered how he could improve and do better next time. It’s obvious he learned a lot after beating Federer on grass and hardcourts. Don’t forget, slumps fit in here too. It may look like you’re going nowhere, even backwards, but keep on plugging away and learning. Maybe the competition is getting stronger or the match-up is not as favorable. Remember the saying: it’s always darkest before dawn. In other words, the sun rises after the darkest hour! Keep plugging away. That slump may be a major learning curve that just needs to be ridden out, much like a wave. And just beyond the wave is smooth sailing. Hang on... 3. Failure provides feedback: If you listen you become aware. Failures, setbacks and obstacles always throw us for a loop, but it’s the true champion that can read- just and glean valuable feedback. Feedback should be viewed without judgment and as a learning opportunity in which you can make changes and adapt, adjusting to the situation next time. Think about it Was there ever a great champion, individual or team, that didn’t learn from failures, setbacks and obstacles? All great champions know why they are competing and use this big “Why” to get themselves back on track. How long did fans judge Federer during his early days? They said he was all hype. Federer was simply taking names and learning along the way. Soon enough he flourished and now has 14 Grand Slam titles. He used failure as feedback en route to his rise and now, as we watch, he has another opportunity to do the same as he tries to regain his #1 ranking. 4. Reframe it! Simply stated, after you have decompressed ask yourself the basic questions. What’s another way to look at this loss or situation? How can I find something positive from it? What’s the lesson here? Even though you lost, what can you learn? And don’t forget, at some point; give yourself some credit for showing up and putting yourself on the line. How many others are competing with such a heart as yours? 5. Focus on the process, not the outcome. This is probably one of the most important points and the major one that all other points can probably be folded into. While you lost this performance it is another step toward your ultimate goal. The match gave you valuable experience and exposed you to the situational pressure of match play. This is highly valuable and can’t be duplicated in practice. Remember, all great champions have to pay their dues and earn their experience. There was a time people were saying Nadal would be the best #2 player in the history of the game. Now people are saying this guy may win more Grand Slams than Federer.” (Admin, SEO. "Dealing with tough loss." Yips - Baseball Yips - Overcomng Sports Slumps - The Yips - Catcher Can't Throw - Golf Yips - Baseball Performance Blocks. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Mar. 2017.)